Does This Come With Directions?

So far so good.

I've been to various church services at Saint Nicholas over the past 2 weeks; love the parish, love the people, love the mission and all of that.  I have plans to serve in at least 2 other communities within the coming weeks already; one in Eldorado Park (which I've already been to twice) and one in Mamilodi with Father Stephen (in conduction with serving at Saint Nicholas).

As I hit the ground hoping to get to work straight way, I think my mindset needed a bit of adjustment.  While I'd love to share pictures and stories about what I've been doing, to be honest, most of what I've been doing is just trying to gain my footing.  Yes, people are people everywhere, so I have that working to my advantage; but this is a whole new culture, there are so many new things to learn.

Currently I'm putting a lot of effort into securing a car, and in the meantime I've been getting little ideas right and left about things that I could do in support of the church once I'm mobile.  I will likely take initiative with the kids first; spending some one-on-one time with the older girls and planning group meals for the younger ones in the neighborhood.  For now, I've been attending every service available, learning the music and structure of the Divine Liturgy and trying to take in as much of my surroundings as possible.

It seems that every day I'm growing more comfortable and that I'm also beginning to understand the culture somewhat better.  It is probably a blessing that I don't have a car yet, forcing me to take this first bit of time here slowly, really getting to know the area, assessing the current situation of the church, and looking for Kaycie-sized opportunities before I go in and try to do anything major.

All that to say, I'm on course.  I have no idea how this year is supposed to play out, but I hope to fall more in love with South Africa and be a blessing to the people here.

Qualified

I never thought I would be doing missionary work.  My thoughts on the matter were that missionaries had to know more about the faith than most, had to be incredibly charismatic and that they needed some blinding unequivocal sign that God needed them in such and such a place; but that is not the truth.

As I got off the plane in O.R. Tambo last Wednesday night, and for the second time in my life set foot on South African soil, a confidence welled up in me that I'd only partially experienced before.  Yes, I had made the decision to come months ago, and yes, I had taken big steps like quitting my job and selling my car prior to even boarding the plane, but I think in the back of my mind I was almost waiting to see if God would intervene; if he would save South Africa from the mess that is me by flight accident or something; but He didn't.

This past week I've found myself surrounded by some pretty incredible people; most of which are far more educated then myself, have had many more years living faithful to Christ than I have, and who innately know the South African culture.  Surprisingly though, I fit in perfectly because… well, because I'm me, and because some clever all knowing being has gone before me to prepare a perfect Kaycie sized place in this community.

One day last week I was driving home from Eldorado Park with Father Kobus, a very well educated, well traveled, devout and humble Afrikaans man, who has been dedicated to the parishes in this area for many years.  We had just finished a service in a "coloured" neighborhood known to be a bit rough, and I was wondering of what use I could be to these people.  Sure I could participate in the services and bring food with me to share, but I was curious where Father Kobus saw me best fitting in.  His answer touched on the confidence that I had felt at the airport.  He said, "the people here just need you," and then went on to explain how he is not the most sociable individual nor does he have the most natural nurturing side.  The Eldorado Park parish happens to have many children who attend without their families, and they have often not been exposed to the healthiest family dynamics at home, leaving them without a great tangible example of how to love well.  Father Kobus used the example of hitting to illustrate this.  At times these children will lash out in physical ways to correct each other because they have not often had someone there to teach them by other means.  "Having a woman of God around will make a lot of difference in modeling Christ's love to them," he said…

At the moment most of my days are spent trying to learn about my surroundings, the culture and the people (books do not do this country justice), and one might think I would feel useless, but I don't.  I'm a carrier of Christ wherever I go.  I still have all the same gifts I was working with at home; the ability to connect people, a unique perspective, a loving and giving heart, and I will work to put these gifts to use in my new home… Is that the definition of a missionary?  I'm not sure, but I know I'm growing more and more in love with this place each day.

Fast Forward

Obviously it's been awhile since I've posted about my trip, but that's only because planning it was quite the all consuming task.  I'M IN SOUTH AFRICA NOW!  I plan to use this blog to post about specific happenings and experiences throughout my stay here; ideally posting roughly once a week in addition to emails that I will be sending to all my supporters and anyone who is interested.  Leave your email address as a comment if you would like to be on the email list and check back for stories soon!

Step One Complete

After 4 months of prayer and organizing and being patient, I've decided to do a little update.  My last post was at the end of January and at that point I was waiting on approval from the Orthodox Church in Johannesburg for me to come and serve; that waiting lasted until the end of March…

Being relatively new to the hierarchal church structure, I'm not used to endeavors like this taking so long to be approved or having to go through such formal processing.  That being said, waiting 3 months for a response was a "growing pains" kind of experience for a girl full of so much excitement and desire.

I got the news on the eve of my birthday that the church in Johannesburg did not need my assistance; this was a bit heartbreaking but did not crush my spirit completely.  I took a moment to set aside what I had envisioned my year to look like during my three month wait and then stepped forward seeking out other options.  Even that very week, through a lucky missionary contact I made with our safari tour guide on my first trip to SA, I was able to connect with a lovely couple based in Rustenburg (a city about 3 hours from JHB) who had a position open at an accredited Assemblies of God seminary.  I Skyped with them, met with my priest and prayed, concluding that while I was very grateful to have made the connection, that working at the school was not the right move for me.

At this point I was fighting discouragement and sought out the counsel of my priest.  He reminded me that with such life altering things as this that it is wise not to press forward without a clear green light from the Lord.  I also had the chance to sit down with my former pastor for coffee and he reiterated the exact same thing to me.  Neither man's advice discouraged me, but rather they gave me comfort, for the things that God sets in motion, He brings to completion in His time.

Fr. Chris also suggested that we contact the Bishop over Pretoria/JHB and clarify my intent a bit.  From the response we were given just before my birthday, it seemed that there could have been a little miscommunication about how my trip would be funded; I intend to support raise and I think they were under the impression that they would need to pay me to come…  Long story short, with a few emails things were straightened out and His Eminence gave me his blessing to begin planning my trip to come and serve!

Gratefulness

As I sit here tonight, thinking about what may or may not come about in this next year, I'm struck by such gratefulness for what I already have.

Friends who think to pray for and encourage me.

A priest who teaches me lessons instead of growing tired of my "trying."

And this.  I mean really, what more could I ask for?

Patience and Prayer

A few days ago I sent a quick email over to Fr. Chris to ask about what my next steps might be if I'm given the ok to go.  Like I mentioned in the previous blog, I should actually have approval (or not) very soon, but being the ever-so-impatient girl that I can be, I thought I'd see if my priest would give me a few next steps to work on in the meantime.  But he wisely didn't.

His response:

"As Fr. Akunda noted, let's just pray and seek God's will.  I'm confident he'll lead us accordingly."

Sometimes all I need to hear is someone else's confidence, to gain my own.  That must be one of the great blessings (and an example of the importance) of community…

If you could see the desktop of my computer right now you would laugh.  It started with one word document about possible financing options for the trip (which is silly anyway, as I'm basing my projected needs on costs of things here and assuming I'll have support from people I haven't even told about the trip yet), and it has become cluttered with pictures from my previous trip, screenshots of maps in/around/between Pretoria and Johannesburg, possible flight itineraries, names of people I want to tell in person, people I want to pray for and connect with, and even lists of languages I might want to learn the Lord's Prayer in…  I'm a "bit" of an over-planner.

Fr. Chris' response, though short and simple, was a powerful one for me.  His words gently reminded me to put first things first.  So I prayed (more).  And I asked others for prayer (again – and about more specific heart kind of things, that are not trip logistics).  And now I'm resting (the best I can) with confidence that what is meant to happen will; in God's plan, on His timetable, through His provision and grace.

While I'm not going to delete my mess of a desktop, there is relief in knowing that I'm not in control.  I have a feeling things will turn out much better that way anyway.

Questions and Answers

One of the first questions about this trip that everyone has asked me is… what will you be doing there?  And I've definitely asked myself the same thing.  Both of my letters of interest (to Cornerstone Assembly in Pretoria and to The Orthodox Church of St. Nicholas of Japan in Johannesburg) stated that I was looking to fill whatever needs they might have, and that I would be willing to serve in any way, given my particular skill set.

As I wait for their responses (I'm hoping to hear back by the end of the month - yay!), I wonder what either community might have for me to do.  What will be filling my hours instead of emails and phone calls about bankruptcies and foreclosures?  Am I knowledgeable enough to teach anything?  Will building relationships be enough to constitute sharing Christ's love?  Is there a skill that I should be working on that might be useful?  My list of questions could go on for pages.

I was praying about this on the way home from an out of town trip this past weekend and remembered two things.  First is the idea of being a bridge.  As I paid the toll to use one of the roads from San Jose to Sacramento, I was reminded of the importance and value of connections; they get you places that would take much longer otherwise (if getting there without them is even possible).  I've always been good at keeping connected with people; whether it be through writing countless 5:30am emails, to being the one to try and arrange dinner plans, to never feeling like too much time has passed between phone calls - I naturally want to facilitate connection (mind you, I have not always gone about this in the right ways).  I really hope God will use this inclination of mine; ultimately to connect people looking for hope to Christ, but more practically to build bridges between communities and the churches around them, and also between Protestant and Orthodox churches to some extent as well.

And secondly, I was reminded of Gideon.  You know, the young man in the Bible called to save Israel…  He had practical skills; he found himself threshing wheat each day, but that wasn't what God chose to build upon.  He also felt unqualified to do what God asked him to, but was reassured numerous times that his doubts about his own skills and abilities had little to nothing to do with God's intent.  The story of Gideon was the first one in the Bible that I chose to really study and I often come back to it for words of reassurance.

Anyway, I hope to do some good.  I hope some of my natural abilities can and will be used, and I hope God has a bigger plan to share with me as things unfold.  Let's just say, I'm hopeful.