1/30/14

Gratefulness

As I sit here tonight, thinking about what may or may not come about in this next year, I'm struck by such gratefulness for what I already have.

Friends who think to pray for and encourage me.


A priest who teaches me lessons instead of growing tired of my "trying."


And this.  I mean really, what more could I ask for?



1/23/14

Patience and Prayer

A few days ago I sent a quick email over to Fr. Chris to ask about what my next steps might be if I'm given the ok to go.  Like I mentioned in the previous blog, I should actually have approval (or not) very soon, but being the ever-so-impatient girl that I can be, I thought I'd see if my priest would give me a few next steps to work on in the meantime.  But he wisely didn't.

His response:
"As Fr. Akunda noted, let's just pray and seek God's will.  I'm confident he'll lead us accordingly."

Sometimes all I need to hear is someone else's confidence, to gain my own.  That must be one of the great blessings (and an example of the importance) of community…

If you could see the desktop of my computer right now you would laugh.  It started with one word document about possible financing options for the trip (which is silly anyway, as I'm basing my projected needs on costs of things here and assuming I'll have support from people I haven't even told about the trip yet), and it has become cluttered with pictures from my previous trip, screenshots of maps in/around/between Pretoria and Johannesburg, possible flight itineraries, names of people I want to tell in person, people I want to pray for and connect with, and even lists of languages I might want to learn the Lord's Prayer in…  I'm a "bit" of an over-planner.

Fr. Chris' response, though short and simple, was a powerful one for me.  His words gently reminded me to put first things first.  So I prayed (more).  And I asked others for prayer (again – and about more specific heart kind of things, that are not trip logistics).  And now I'm resting (the best I can) with confidence that what is meant to happen will; in God's plan, on His timetable, through His provision and grace.

While I'm not going to delete my mess of a desktop, there is relief in knowing that I'm not in control.  I have a feeling things will turn out much better that way anyway.

1/20/14

Questions and Answers

One of the first questions about this trip that everyone has asked me is… what will you be doing there?  And I've definitely asked myself the same thing.  Both of my letters of interest (to Cornerstone Assembly in Pretoria and to The Orthodox Church of St. Nicholas of Japan in Johannesburg) stated that I was looking to fill whatever needs they might have, and that I would be willing to serve in any way, given my particular skill set.

As I wait for their responses (I'm hoping to hear back by the end of the month - yay!), I wonder what either community might have for me to do.  What will be filling my hours instead of emails and phone calls about bankruptcies and foreclosures?  Am I knowledgeable enough to teach anything?  Will building relationships be enough to constitute sharing Christ's love?  Is there a skill that I should be working on that might be useful?  My list of questions could go on for pages.

I was praying about this on the way home from an out of town trip this past weekend and remembered two things.  First is the idea of being a bridge.  As I paid the toll to use one of the roads from San Jose to Sacramento, I was reminded of the importance and value of connections; they get you places that would take much longer otherwise (if getting there without them is even possible).  I've always been good at keeping connected with people; whether it be through writing countless 5:30am emails, to being the one to try and arrange dinner plans, to never feeling like too much time has passed between phone calls - I naturally want to facilitate connection (mind you, I have not always gone about this in the right ways).  I really hope God will use this inclination of mine; ultimately to connect people looking for hope to Christ, but more practically to build bridges between communities and the churches around them, and also between Protestant and Orthodox churches to some extent as well.

And secondly, I was reminded of Gideon.  You know, the young man in the Bible called to save Israel…  He had practical skills; he found himself threshing wheat each day, but that wasn't what God chose to build upon.  He also felt unqualified to do what God asked him to, but was reassured numerous times that his doubts about his own skills and abilities had little to nothing to do with God's intent.  The story of Gideon was the first one in the Bible that I chose to really study and I often come back to it for words of reassurance.

Anyway, I hope to do some good.  I hope some of my natural abilities can and will be used, and I hope God has a bigger plan to share with me as things unfold.  Let's just say, I'm hopeful.

1/15/14

Pastors and Priests

Once I got in touch with Pastor Watt and initial pleasantries were exchanged, I had to tell him what I actually wanted.  You'd be surprised how difficult this was for me…  I fancy myself to be a direct and forward person, but when it comes to things I'm uncertain about, that God is leading me through, I'm usually scared, and well know that I am not in control.  My thoughts went something like this:

"…I would like to come for around a year (ideally starting in late May/early June 2014).  As far as what I'd like to do, the Lord has really put it on my heart just to serve in any way needed.  Since I haven't been back to the Cornerstone community in years, I was wondering if there are any needs that your community specifically has that I might be able to address?  I have a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration and Management, experience (obviously dealing in an American cultural context) ranging in education, recreation, childcare, worship, music (singing and basic chords on a piano), media (sound and video), legislation, social services, etc. BUT know that I would be willing to do anything that there is a need for..."

After sending this message things got more real, as I had to think my plan through a little.  I've become an Orthodox Christian since I was in SA last, and Orthodox Church services are drastically different than the ones I remember attending at Cornerstone.  I knew what to say to Pastor Watt to some extent because I generally know what I could do relating to a protestant church service and assumed I could plug into whatever else they had going on, but I was concerned about missing out on the Divine Liturgy… and I wondered how I could adapt Orthodoxy to my life in SA while attending Cornerstone, so I decided that it was time to mention things to Father Chris (my priest in Roseville) to get his incite.

I happened to be at a holiday celebration lunch with the religious education workers from our parish when the topic finally came up.  Father Chris was sitting across from me and I mentioned that I had been thinking about going on a longer term mission trip to SA; holding my breath a little and pretending that I was somewhat indifferent to what he had to say… I wasn't.  I really cared.  He seemed interested, so I continued on about how I had been before and that I had contacted the church that I previously assisted.  At that point he asked if I had looked into any of the Orthodox churches in the area and seemed excited because he remembered having a connection to a priest in Johannesburg.  I think he may have even shot off a quick email from his phone right then and there, but he told me that he would look into his connections and that I should do a little research to see if there was an Orthodox parish that I might be able to serve with (and also to craft another letter of interest geared towards serving with that parish).

This got me thinking.

1/12/14

Google and Facebook

If you know a few key words to search for and aren't afraid to send out a couple of overreaching and very direct emails, the internet can really be shown as an amazing thing.

My first actual step in pursuing this idea of going back to SA was to look up some information about the church that we served with back in 2007.  For those of you that don't know, in the summer of 2007 I was part of a college ministry, Chi Alpha, that partnered with the University of Pretoria and an Assemblies of God church in the area.  We got involved with students on campus and did the majority of our service in the area of race relations (from my perspective and from what I can remember - I was kind of a mess at the time).  I couldn't remember the name of the church off hand, but after sifting through some old pictures that I have from our trip I came across this one that happens to have the name of it on some of the signage in the background.


Next, I googled "Cornerstone Assembly South Africa" and the results came up with this.  From the pictures shown I could tell that this was a place that I had spent time in before, so I knew I was on the right track.  The website mentioned Pastor Watt as the "current occupant" which got me thinking that emailing him might be my best bet.  Now to find his email address…  I sent a quick message over to the former Chi Alpha campus pastor that I served under in 2007 to see if he had any way to get in touch with Pastor Watt.  While his response back to me was almost instantaneous, he didn't have any current connection to Cornerstone and the email address that he had from all those years ago was no longer active.  BRICK WALL.

I almost stopped there.  The idea seemed far fetched anyway.  Even if I were to find the correct email for Pastor Watt, what then?  Was I just going to email him and ask to come live there for a year?  "Hello Pastor Watt, do you remember me?  I have no really marketable skills, but I would like to come and serve in your community for a year.  Make room!"  Just kidding… kind of.

But after a mini moment of discouragement I realized I had another means of connection… Facebook! The friends that I made over in SA don't use Facebook nearly as much as we do in America (maybe they aren't into sharing their every thought/interest so publicly), but some of them still have accounts, so I sent out a few messages.  For some it was the first time I'd reached out to them in quite awhile, for others it was a bit easier as my friendship with them has actually grown since back in 2007, but nonetheless it was still a reach to hope that they had strong connections to the same church from their college years, almost a decade ago.

While the responses that I received to these messages varied in ways that I could not have expected, they did lead to me connecting with Pastor Watt, and they rekindled something beautiful in me.  I've continued these message chains for about 2 months now, with people living where I want to be.  I've been asking them so many questions; about their lives and what they see around them, about how missionaries and women are perceived, about Jesus and what He is doing in SA, about any advice they would have for me… and asking them to pray, as I definitely need their prayers (and yours?).

To be continued.

1/10/14

I'm Going to be a Missionary?

I wanted to to start documenting the process that I'm going through so that I don't forget all of what went into getting me to South Africa.

Back in November, for reasons unbeknownst to me, I started to look into going back to SA.  I think I was probably inspired by this guy Dane that I've been talking to since summer; he's an adventurer and a learner (and a really nice guy in general).  I want to be like that... and then I look around myself and find that 8 hours a day I'm in the midst of cubical walls, computer screens and phones.  Don't get me wrong, I am SO GRATEFUL to have a job, and even just to have my specific life, but I want something more (don't we all).

Anyway, back in November I began to think bigger.  I wanted to go somewhere.  I wasn't sure where to go, but I knew that I wanted to go far, so why waste time trying to make connections when I already had a few all the way around the world, in a place where I would likely be well received and full of people desperate for Hope (aren't we all).  So it was decided… I was going to find a way back to SA.

With that, I started to tap my online resources and send some emails.

To be continued.